Moving out Update: Everything Feels Strange and Overwhelming

12:57:00

I told you all that I'd keep you updated on moving out and everything that's happening this year, so that's what I'm doing today.

In case you're unfamiliar, in the middle of August I moved out. My old town was tiny, and I went to a school of 100 students, where everyone knew everyone. In this new city, I knew close to no-one. I started a huge new school, and moved into a flat with a girl I'd met once. At 17, this sounds like a recipe for disaster, and that's certainly what it felt like for the first month.

Everything felt new and unsafe: I didn't know anyone at my school, I had no idea how to get around the city, and most overwhelming at all, when I got home at  the end of the day, my family wasn't there, and instead it was someone I barely knew. Living with a flatmate is the one thing I was most nervous about, but it's also become the one thing that keeps me sane on a day-to-day basis.

We bonded so quickly. We spent the first day exploring the city, and then went to Ikea. She's such a lovely person, and I depend on her an insane amount for only having known her a month. We make dinner together, and go shopping together. On particularly bad days, she's sat with me in the kitchen for hours, listening to me crying and comforting me, all while sharing a bucket of cookie-dough ice cream. She's the best flatmate I could imagine, and if I didn't have someone like her here, I think my first month would have been a lot worse.

It wasn't a great month though. I can probably count the days I haven't cried on both hands, and all I wanted was to go home. Everything's settling down a bit now. I'm at home with my parents for half-term this week, but I spent last weekend in my old hometown staying with friends.


That weekend was exactly what I needed. I got to see some of the people I love most, and it was a weekend filled with long hugs, laughter, and nostalgia. I love my friends there, but with every second I spent there, I realised how glad I am to not be living there anymore. Of course I miss my friends and I'm making an effort to go back more often to see them, but every street, every corner had so many memories on it.

There's something very special about small towns like that: At 10pm on a Sunday, my friend and I sat in the McDonalds eating McFlurry's, and within the half an hour we were there, we bumped into three people I know. I'm glad I went back that weekend, but I'm infinitely more glad that I don't live there anymore.

Everything has brightened up a bit after that. School isn't so bad anymore. Sure, my classes are stressful, but I've met nice people who make me laugh, and I've hung out with a few of them outside of school, and actually had a great time.

As for the city life, I love it. I'll probably do an entire post about this soon, but as of now, the best thing about it is the public transport. It sounds stupid I know, but in my old town the buses went barely once an hour, whereas here I can get anywhere in the city within twenty minutes.

Things are getting better, and I can only hope that continues. I've discovered that most people feel like this when they first move out, whether that's to Uni, or just in general. I know I've struggled quite a bit with all the changes, and although on paper I should be having the time of my life, it hasn't exactly worked out like that.

I make it work the best I can though. I make sure to never leave myself alone, as that is usually what makes me overly emotional. I never stay in the flat overnight if my roommate isn't home, because I find evenings to be especially tough. I go home most weekends, and if not, I make sure to have them fully-packed with plans.

So far, I'm doing okay. This all feels overwhelming and strange, but I'm starting to get used to it. If you've just moved out yourself, or if you're just going through a tough time in terms of loneliness and feeling lost, please know that you're not alone, and everyone around you has felt like this at one point or another. Also, you can always reach out to me on twitter if you just fancy someone to chat to and keep your mind occupied.

Share This Story

Tags: ,

You Might Also Like

8 comments

  1. Anonymous3 October 2016 at 17:29

    Your flatmate sounds so lovely! I hope everything settles down a bit soon xx
    http://blossomofhope.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 October 2016 at 16:00

      She really is, and thank you, I hope so too! <3

      Delete
  2. Unknown6 October 2016 at 22:57

    Thank you so much for writing this update post, I've been wondering how you were getting on at your new school. Moving out and starting a new life in a city you barely know sounds so stressful, and I couldn't even imagine having that sort of independence at just 17! That's such a brave move and I'm sure it will make you such a strong person. I'm so happy for you that you've got a wonderful flatmate, she sounds so kind and understanding and I'm glad you were able to bond. You're absolutely right, most people do feel exactly like you do when they move out and you're doing a fantastic job with coping already. Hope things continue to get easier and easier and you know where I am if you need a chat :)

    http://izzyk1998.blogspot.co.uk/
    http://izzykreviews.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown10 October 2016 at 12:34

      It's at least comforting to know that everyone feels this way, and I hope it continues to improve. Going home every weekend is the thing that keeps me sane at least! Thank you for being so lovely <3

      Delete
  3. Unknown9 October 2016 at 23:10

    This post gives me hope. In a little under a year, I will be doing the same thing. And while my city is not a 100 person town, nor am I 17, and I will be rooming with someone I know, I will be leaving my home for a brand new start in a completely different state. And even at 21, that scares me. But this post, this beautiful written post calms my heart. So I thank you. And I hope that everything continues to only go up from here<3.

    www.sweetteaandstorms.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown10 October 2016 at 12:39

      Thank you so much. No matter your age or where you're moving to, it's just as new and scary. I hope it all goes well for you, and I'd love an update about how you're doing when you move. And thank you for being so lovely <3

      Delete
  4. Unknown10 October 2016 at 22:59

    I'm glad that everything is going okay for you at school Amanda! It's so great when you get a roommate that you really bond with, yours sounds absolutely wonderful <3
    www.britishmermaid.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown16 December 2016 at 01:43

      Things are off and on, and I actually did an update post on it here: http://theamandaway.blogspot.no/2016/12/my-mind-is-mess-but-im-trying.html
      I'm still extremely grateful for my roommate though, I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. Thank you for all the support!

      Delete