At the moment, I feel like I'm hanging in suspense for what's about to happen.

I love my friends and I always have great fun when I go out with them, but I also love staying in and eating pizza alone. Sometimes I feel like the only nights I'm allowed to count as good ones are the ones where exciting things happen. The nights where I do exciting things with my friends, or try new things. Although I love these memories and wouldn't trade them for the world, evenings spent on skype with a long distance friend or in front of the telly watching top model with my mum are equally comforting to me.

I'm moving out next year. Long story, but basically I need to move for school. This makes me insanely happy, as I'll be able to meet so many new people and have new experiences, and I'm not altogether sad about leaving my current town. I find myself awaiting June desperately, and sometimes it feels like this entire year is counting down towards that.

But yet, I need to pull myself together sometimes.
This has been the best year of my life so far, and although I'm sure next year will be great too, most of my friends will have graduated high school and will be strewn all over the world, some of whom I might not see again. That's not really something to look forward to.

I need to remember that I'm in a great place now. I've had so many amazing experiences these past few months, and discovered so much of who I am. I'm allowed to look forward to the end of this school year, but I'm also allowed to be content with where I'm at right now.

Content with the fact that last night was spent in good company and I made new friends who I'll be sure to see again. Content with the fact that in an hour, a good friend will be picking me up to drive to Jiu Jitsu class together, which I find really fun. Content with the small things, like the fact that my mum stocked up the fridge with several avocados, and that I found some great books about graphic design at the library. My room is almost tidy (for the first time in months) and my bed linen is clean.

All of these are things I can be excited about. I shouldn't have to hand out my excitement in doses, limiting it to only the things that seem worthy. Everything is exciting.

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