Facing my Fears


Hey everyone,

Today I'm going to talk about quite a personal topic, which I think is the first step to being who I am. I hope this post benefits a few of you, and maybe even inspires you to do your thing and be who you are.

Although I'm generally quite content and confident in who I am, and I have quite a few close friends, I don't ever feel like I have anyone who completely gets me. You know those posts you see about things best friends do? I don't feel like I ever have anyone to do things like that with.

I know this is completely my own fault, because even though I'm very chatty and extroverted towards people I know,
 I keep such a huge part of myself hidden. At my old school, I had a few best friends who I'm still very close with, but I've always been the 'weirdo' of the friend group. I always say excactly what's on my mind, and I honestly don't see what's wrong with that. My friend's always tease me for it, and although I know it's done kind-heartedly, it's all a bit too much sometimes.

I don't want to be teased even more, and so I try to be as normal as I can. When I say normal, I don't mean in the way I act, but in my interests. I'm the type of person who has the mindset 'go big or go home', and I never enjoy anything moderately. If I like something, I LOVE it, and spend every second of the day thinking about it. For some reason though, I try to hide this for my friends, because I don't think they'll be interested.

I've hidden the fact that I love Harry Potter, because even though they all know that I enjoyed the books, none of them know how much of a Potterhead i actually am. This is because at my old school, I used to be that girl, the one who showed up in school with a Harry Potter uniform. As I mentioned above, my friends would tease me for it, and it made me feel awful, because I never felt as worthy as them and saw them as being above me. I never want to be that girl again, and so I've hidden that part of my personality.

None of my friends know about my love for writing. I don't want to seem like that sappy dramatic kid, and therefore no one knows that I write a journal every night, or that I love writing on this blog.

No one knows about my love for youtubers, and I don't know why, but I suppose I'm just afraid of being an outcast.

I haven't told anyone about my wish to slim down and look better, because I don't want to be seen as one of those girls that are always in movies, where they only eat salad and never think they're skinny enough.

However, a few months ago, I casually told my friend about my love and fascination for Emma Watson. I didn't tell him the extent of it, because I didn't want to be seen as weird. Surprisingly, it turns out that he and a few others in my friend group have major crushes on her, and we now fawn about her together. It turned out to be really fun, and I feel so much happier because of it.

My fear is that my friends will know about all of the things I listed above, and I'll be an outcast again. I want to stop this. I want to be able to be completely honest about who I am and what I like to do, and when people ask about my interests, I want to proudly say that, instead of "Eh, I'm not sure, a bit of everything" because I'm afraid of being judged.

This is my new project, being honest about myself to myself and the ones around me. This is me facing my fear, and hopefully it goes well. I'll let you know.

What are some things you're scared to do? Will you join me in this and try to work them out?
Please do, and let me know! xx

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  1. Absolutely love this post, so inspirational. Found a new favourite blog!! <3


    1. Wow, thank you! It means a lot! I checked out your blog too, and I love it! <3